This sinking feeling….I do not exactly wish to go with this but call it life, call it destiny or perhaps the this-is-what-was-meant-to-be like thing. Someday, I could prevail in understanding the exact reason for all that happened in the past months..I wish I would… This is the wrong time to think over these feelings and try reasoning with them.

Atleast that is what my head says…but do I go with what my head says or do I listen to my heart too…I may not be able to cope with the pain though…if I listen to my heart now. I let it pass for now…let my heart have some rest and I go with my head…’coz even my head wants my heart to rest for a while…

Matters of heart are very dubious…Let’s think and act practically for sometime…till I learn to swim my way through these high tides of emotions and pain…and till I learn to smudge the visions of past (to an extent) and shift+delete them from my head…

Well, is this possible? Shift+Deleting? I don’t think so… never. But I would love to move on.

At the thought of living today (I would write about this next time this needs extra attention)…. I almost forgot what living today meant.

All these years, I lived with the soreness of past and the trepidation of future….I forgot to relish my “todays”…I completely stopped smiling and laughing….all I did was to just grin and that too half heartedly….I yearned to laugh my heart out…laugh till my stomach ached….laugh till tears rolled out of my eyes…

And yes, I did all these…one untroubled soul that I was…when I gave a damn about the past and the future…those were the days….Did I loose them…I ask this question to myself very often…or did I just forget how to live…Definitely not….I do not regret the way I lived till today…I did just what I wanted to do…I loved being the way I was…I was and am honest with my heart and that’s absolutely necessary for me..being honest…

It was just a detour from regular trail for a little while….Now is the time to deviate…not that I regret…but this is not the end of life. Life moves on…Time passes by…Some people are only meant to be a small part of life….and some remain with you for lifetime. Like Princess Diana said- “Life is just a journey”

That’s why, I have decided to start living again…I may not be that young but who cares….I am older and more wiser now…I am young enough to reconcile with the lost moments….I am strong enough to embark upon not so light situations and understand their profundity… Embrace life as it comes and do what I wish to do and love to do…be with people who love me the most and love them back….

’coz…The last thing I want to do when I look back on my life is to have regrets…and think “If Only”….(Inspired by famous quotes)

Life is beautiful. Cherish it. Love it. Live it.